Sunday, November 18, 2012

My blue skyes have been dimmed - Why I've been away

I was working very hard at being a consistent blogger. And then the ceiling caved in. October ended and here on the East Coast we got whacked - Hurricane Sandy and all of her fury tore our neighborhoods up, lifted up houses and threw them down in pieces, flooded our basements and floated many dreams away. We personally had small damages - a fence section down, a branch fallen, lots of leaves and branches to rake, only a few hours of power outtages. Our neighbors and family members didn't fare as well as we.

And then the boot fell for me, personally. I came home to find my beloved 12-year-old Siberian Husky, Skye, dying. From the time I walked into the house and realized what was happening to the last few seconds I gazed into his eyes at the Animal Hospital - it all went so quickly, it was truly a whirlwind - our own personal Sandy.

I haven't been the same for several weeks. The sadness of the hurricane wore at me, but my own depression from the loss of my pet has hurt me and made me vulnerable and emotionally frail. I do not deal with loss very well. Not many of us do. I tend to hold on to the things that I love so tightly that letting go is adverse to my nature. There have been many kind words, surprising support from my friends, family, and coworkers.

Skye was a beautiful animal and many knew him because he was such a part of my life. Each day does get better. I cry less, but I still cry. The reality is, I can't bring him back, no matter how much I wish I had the magic spell I could cast. If you have never had a pet, this is all jibberish to you. But if you are owned by your own pet or pets, you will commiserate. I'm sure many of you have beautiful stories to tell.

For now, I'm trying to find something to fill in the giant hole in my heart. I have another dog who is feeling the loss. We cuddle and we cry together and I take him for walks where he searches in familiar places for his lost friend - which makes me cry all over again.

So, this is why I haven't been blogging. Or exercising. Or watching my diet. But I will be back. I will be thankful on Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, for the 12 years I got to love this magnificent creation. And then I will be back and I will be stronger. And I will love again.

Happy Thanksgiving!


  1. I am so very sorry for your loss. We have lost many furry friends so I can sympathize with you. Skye will always be in your heart. Hugs!


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